First Birthday List

1 2 3 4 5

I can't believe it's already time to start thinking about my little guy's first birthday. It literally seems like the year flew by. But here we are with this list! Here's my picks for first birthday lists.

9 Months

Last month social isolation continued. We have taken lots of walks and bike rides. We installed a swing set. We went exploring on some new trails. I've also done more gardening and work on my yard than I've ever done. While I'm so happy to get to spend this time together, I'm so bummed that we can't use it going more places.

This month also brought full on speed crawling- mostly toward the dogs' water bowl to dump it out, standing, and cruising. Staying at home is certainly a lesson in multitasking and it's made working from home a lot more interesting. I will say, my watch is pleased with all of my movement! 

4th Birthday List

1  2  3  4  5

My little man is really growing into a full blown kid and it's hard to believe. The umbrella and kite were specific requests from him. The boots are because he practically lived in his old pair and wore them out- literally. The backpack is because his little toddler one is getting to small to fit everything he needs, so I guess we are moving up to a full big kid backpack- I'm not ready! As always our favorite birthday gifts are passes and experiences! Check out our favorites around Hampton Roads.  

8 Months

Month 8 of little man's life brought the social isolation of Covid-19. Which is hard, frustrating, annoying.... but it also has given me more time with my boys which is awesome. Working from home has been... interesting. We have been doing lots of arts and crafts and spending a lot of time outside weeding our flowerbeds. It's hard because we are used to spending a lot of time with our friends and going out and doing things. I worry about how long this will last and the impact it will have socially, educationally, and if the boys will have their birthday parties impacted. Here's to staying away from people and helping this thing pass quickly!

(Still) Grieving with (Hardly A) Toddler

After my dad died I wrote about grieving with a toddler. On the one hand it feels like just yesterday that I saw my dad with same crescent moon shape under his eyes that my boys have when they smile, the crumbs of nabs still hanging around on his way out of a ski lodge to get back on the slopes, and the dedication and loyalty to all local Norfolk sports. On the other it feels like that day, the first one of 2018, was a lifetimes ago. His absence is felt daily in huge, gaping proportions.  I am here to say that I have no further advice on how to make this easier. No words of wisdom. No profound thoughts. But I do know this. It will come up again, and again, and often at times when I haven't braced for it.

While explaining to my sweet boy why he wouldn't get to go back to school and see his friends I tried to put the focus on keeping everyone safe. I didn't want him to be scared. I told him that we wanted to keep people from getting sick, not thinking about the repercussions. Over a week later I looked at him, deep in thought, and he asked me why papa got sick, why he wasn't here, and where he was. These are deep thoughts and deep questions for a three year old. Since then, almost every day he asks me if papa will die again, if once this is over he will come back, and why his brother doesn't know papa. His concerns for his brother are my concerns given a voice, said aloud.

I listen to this song again, and again, and again. The words could have been written by my dad himself. I think about how to explain who my dad was to my boys. As hard as it is to hear questions that catch me off guard, it brings relief that he does remember my dad. Words are powerful. "Sick" is what reminded him of my dad. Not smart, wise, talented, or funny. Not that he skied or played rugby or was a horrible dancer. It's a reminder to me that I need to talk about my dad more, as painful as it is, using all of the adjectives that he was.

I'm building a fire to keep you warm long after I retire

'Cause this body is bound to expire tonight

The embers will grow and remind you what you already know

That the night is only a temporary absence of light

In the morning you'll wake with the ashes of a memory

And the sun on your face and I will not seem so far away

Arise, you're alive

7 months

This one is really image heavy, but I'm using these to document all the things that happen. This month brought more changes. More talking, more mobility, more smiles, and more eating! The big news is- the first tooth! This boy is eating any and everything that he can get his hands on. This month brought visits from Uncle G Bus, smiles to all the ladies, snuggles from the pups, and visits with Uncle Christian to see superheros. It also brought the end of our latest swimming session with Katie's Kickers, which we love, a few warm days for playing outside, and hangout sessions with friends!  

We celebrated Valentine's Day this month too, went to birthday parties, attended Ronnie's first Babygarten class, and are loving lazy weekends. It also brought more excitement with Open Your Ears Records taking preorders for their first vinyl press. 

This sweet onesie was a gift from Ms. Janet who volunteers in my classroom regularly, and I couldn't be more thankful for! 

Check out this pup who couldn't keep those kisses away long enough to take a picture.

Valentines Day for Mama

1  2  3  4  5  

1- This book has amazing reviews and is about strengthening relationships. I love stuff like this.
2- How perfect are these mermaid brushes?!
3- I love how these earrings are a little edgy.
4- The most perfect little studded bracelet.
5- I have been eyeing this rose gold watch band! Less than ten bucks!

1  2  3  4 

1- This little sweatshirt is too cute.
2- I love baking with my little man. These you can use year after year.
3- I love a baseball tee!
4- Everyone loves llama llama!

6 Months

Half a year that our little guy has been with us! It's hard to believe. This month we traveled to two different places in North Carolina, explored around Hampton Roads, and went to Ronnie's first ODU game. We celebrated holidays, cheered in (early) New Year's Eve day, and spent lots of time with family. 

We moved into this house in July and are finally getting some of the last things done. We are trying to get everything hung and putting final touches on everything. Things I don' recommend, moving with a three week old! Sometimes that's just how things work out. 

The holidays are always hard for me. The days can seem like time markers leading up to the first when my dad died on the first. This year we will walk in the Purple Strides walk again. If you'd like to walk with us or donate to help with Pancreatic Cancer patients or research, please check it out here. I've talked a lot about dealing with loss with a toddler.  I can't encourage everyone enough to order one of these recordable books. My mom got one for Ronnie this year, because you just never know, and I think that these are so special. 

Half a year has passed, and I'm sure that in 6 more months I'll be looking back and reflecting on the year wondering where it went. Time is weird that way, we know it seems short and we are still shocked by the feeling. I try to remember to breathe it all in and enjoy it while it's happening. Cheers to the next six! 

20 Family Goals for 2020

2020 is here and in full swing. Most of the work is done on our house, and with Ronnie already six months old, we are in a more normal and predictable routine. Some of these goals are practical short term things that we just need to find time to do. Others are long term that will take months (maybe years if I'm being honest) to do. Either way, it feels good to make a list and be able to check items off. So here is our 20 for 20. Here's to us all having a healthy and happy year. 

01. Hang up the rest of the pictures in our house! Why can't we seem to find time for this? Either the baby is sleeping or we are going somewhere; we don't have the right size frames... it's always something. 

02. Go to the Chesapeake Arboretum. I've literally been trying to get here for 2 years and can't find a day to go.
03. Pay down debts. Getting the new car was awesome, but having two kids meant that Neil had to get a bigger truck too so the car seats would fit.
04. Family vacation, not somewhere too far or fancy, just something fun for us all.
05. Get a desk, put the computer on it, actually use it.
06. Pack healthier food for lunches. Sometimes it's so easy to just throw the granola bar in, but the sugar in it is no joke.
07. Pack up baby stuff for the Team Hurwitz for Pancreatic Cancer Spring yard sale. We are two and through, so it's time to get rid of stuff either by passing it to others or selling it in our spring yard sale.
08. Clean out my car.
09. Compliment at least one person a day, because everyone loves getting them!
10. Finish the books we have. Neil and I both have several books on the self that we want to read but we just haven't gotten to. I'm putting myself on a book buying limit until I finish the ones I've got.

11. Recycle smarter. Did you know that most of us are causing recycling problems? Cities in Hampton Roads are trying to get rid of recycling programs because of some of the issues and how expensive it is. Plastic bags can only be recycled in special places, take them to your local Target or Khols and find the bin. Shiny wrapping paper can not be recycled. Either can some boxes that have been in the freezer, as they have additives to stop freezer burn. 

12. Make a will. This one is SO important for our kids! 

13. Meet with a financial advisor. Put a little bit more into retirement. It seems so far away, but it isn't really that far. 

14. Unsubscribe to the junk emails. I get SO many. 

15. Send cards. My cousin Christine is so good at this, and I'm so, so bad. 

16. Get (and keep alive) some kind of plant in the house. Plants make air. Fresh air is good for the brain... but I still can't remember to water them. Whoops. 

17. Sanitize our devices more. How often do you really sanitize your phone? It's so full of germs! My computer at work is always so gross. Hello, classroom full of second grade sneezes. 

18. Deligate, deligate, deligate. I'm not sure where we can sneak some help, but grocery pick up, cleaning help, dog grooming. We need some help. 

19. Hang up some more lighting in our backyard. 

20. Go on a parents only trip somewhere. (Somewhere close!) Have some time for just us.

That's it! We will see how many of these we actually accomplish, but setting the goals helps me try to follow through! 

Build Your Tribe

I have said time and time again that being a mama is the hardest job that I can think of. A few weeks ago, while Neil was out of town, his mother fell and broke her hip in front of my house. I happened to be out back and heard her screaming, but the boys were inside alone- baby screaming, RT standing in the doorway watching it all. In a moment of helplessness I had to tell his mom that I had to leave her there alone, laying on the ground, in the rain, while I ran inside to call 911. My mom was out of town. My closest neighbors were out of town. I literally went running banging on doors for help. I had to mobilize my village, near and far. How would I get through loss, broken hips, sick kids, oil changes, and everything in between without them? What would I do without this support network of mine? 

But lots of mothers have no village. We live in an area where people move a lot, and their families are often far. Neighborhood parties and get togethers are a thing of the past. "Room moms" and school communities are lacking. Paying babysitters, carpoolers, and dog walkers is expensive and feels impossible. So how do we build our villages? How do we take time from our lives which are already so busy, so hectic, so overwhelming, and build these villages up?  Making and keeping friendships as an adult is hard. Thinking about the people who I can truly depend on, most of them have been around since childhood. So how do we develop new friendships? Where do we meet these mamas? At playgrounds, the adults seem to be on their phones scrolling rather than talking to each other. So I'm throwing this challenge out to us all. Come to a TAT meet up. Put the phone away and talk to at least one other mama. Share one thing about you or your kid. Tell them one local place you love or one mom tip you can't live without.  This month we are meeting up at The Pink Roller on December 21st. We would love for you to join us!

Holiday Gift Guide 2019

I can't believe the holidays are here already! My friend Cayte and I were just saying how it seems like now that our second babies are here time goes by even faster. I had some time to sit down and think about what we all really could use this holiday. I love getting memberships and passes to places, but I know that our family also likes to have the boys open something. I put together a few things that we could all use. There are a lot of picture frames, but it's both because we have the new baby and because we moved into the new house. 

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8

Some notes on his, those pacis are the only ones he will take, we loved these snack containers with RT but seemed to have lost some of the parts, these bibs with the chew things are awesome and if you've never had Bambas you. are. missing. out! Babies all over Israel eat them, and there are very few nut allergies there. Lastly, this duck was glued to RT and is a hit with baby R too. I put it on here even though we have it in case anyone else is looking for a great gift. It is an Eric Carle product and has bright colors, things that make noise, and things to bite on.

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

This is a Christmas book, but we love this series, which is why the plate is there too. We plan on taking RT snowboarding this year- so lots of items for that. Numbers eight and nine are awesome. We received the claw painter as a gift and plan on getting him some of these refills because he loves it. 

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8

Tomato jam is awesome on fried cheese, so bring on all the jam.  Apparently I somehow have no clothes. No basic white t's, no black t-shirts. I love that this one has the leopard print pocket. I know I'm getting old because Vans is now making shoes with extra cushioning. The flats have awesome reviews from teachers. Also these are the best pens. 

1  2  3  4  5  6

Neil's list is a combo of practical and whimsical. I always get him some kind of funny socks during this time of year because we feel like it's one of the few places you can still be funny under professional clothing. Neil's a fan of Wild Turkey, so there are a few nods to that too. This jerky pack features all different kinds of jerky, and while I'm a vegetarian, Neil is not. 

Hope these give you some ideas. I'll be posting my local experience favorites very soon! 

4 Months

Month four was a month of new experiences for us all! Ronnie's first long car ride. RT's first experience with motion sickness (six times vomiting in the car). Neil and I found ourselves randomly on a boat in downtown Pittsburgh for a Halloween cover show. We all tried our first pickle pizza (so freaking good) too. Ronnie is now rolling over and sleeping mostly through the night. He shows that he recognizes people with a smile when he hears a familiar voice or sees a familiar face and grabs toys. He is chewing on his hands nonstop and even an occasional foot when he can get them. Little noises have become full on talking. Month four was so.much.fun.

November is arriving which means that the holiday season is almost in full swing! I'm not sure how life could possibly be any busier than it is now, but I know it's coming. For now, we are ready to celebrate Halloween and have some cooler weather! 

Subaru Ascent- The Ultimate Cool Mom Mobile

I love little cars. Before having kids, I had a little tiny black bean of a car that I could park anywhere. But one time being stuck somewhere with the baby because of a flash flood, and Neil decided we needed a car that sat up higher . We ended up purchasing what would become the most horrific nightmare of an experience with a dealership that we ever had. We bought from Priority Toyota and it was one terrible mishap after another. I knew if I ever bought a car again (used or new) it needed to be from a dealership that I felt was trustworthy.

(real mom dirty car actual car seats/base photos)

Flash forward to after baby number two. My car was fine for fitting two car seats, but we quickly realized that with the dogs or hauling a grandma around, we didn't have enough space.  So even though we just recently paid off the last car, we found ourselves looking again. I knew I wanted a car that was super safe, that had captains chairs for the second row, but that wasn't so big that I felt uncomfortable driving it. I searched reviews, Youtube videos, safety ratings, and narrowed it down to the Subaru Ascent. I've never owned a Subaru, but from what I understand everyone who has them loves them. Like a cult, the company is easy to get into but hard to leave, and so we took the plunge and bought one.

Here's my favorite features:

• Eyesight Driver Assist Technology which monitors traffic movement, lane drift assist, pre-collision breaking, and blind spot monitoring. 
• Drives insanely smooth
• At First Team, you get free oil changes and inspections for life. The parts and service are guaranteed for life through First Team so you'll only have to ever pay for things once even if you move across the country. There is free towing assistance within 50 miles of the dealership. 
• Three zones of air conditioning, which can be adjusted to get everyone even in rear facing car seats. Temperature in the back can be controlled by the driver. 
• Four wheel drive, perfect for the ski trip get away I'm hoping to have soon. 
• It's easy to get around in. The doors open really wide for car seats. The automatic lift gate is easy to use. The car is easy to drive and park because there are few blind spots. 
• Not a car feature, but First Team has a section with toys in their waiting room which goes a huge way with me. 

I know this sounds sales pitchy. But my mom even liked it so much that she traded her car in and got one herself. My next door neighbor has one. We are a little fleet of Ascents! I'm loving our change to the mom mobile. We have room to spread out without being terrified to parallel park downtown. The safety features are so important with two little guys in the car. If you're looking for a mom mobile without feeling like you have to commit to the mini van life, I'd totally recommend heading to First Team to check one out! Both my mom and I worked with Morgan, who has a toddler of his own, so he totally gets the "cool mom car" struggle!